Unwanted Enemy and Our AJK List(4S3)

Today fairy Godmother granted my wish...
To become the assistant monitor of 4S3...
Yes, ASSISTANT monitor...Exactly...
Not more, not less...
Being the monitor has it's disadvantage...
Every consequences go to the monitor...
And the assistant monitors are the fool of fortunes...
Because they always forgotten from bad luck...
On the other hand, always remembered by duty...
But I'd rather work until I break all my fingernails than to face the music...
Anyway, I like being as busy as a bee...

Let's time travel back to the moment when the class teacher walks into the classroom...
Uh oh, no advantage, unknown teacher with a name tag emblazoned with "P.L. Ng"...
Everyone was quite scared when she stepped in and the feeling miraculously disappeared when someone tried to joke with her...(That is half an hour later)...

Okay, so the AJK-choosing ceremony started...
Three names were nominated...
And my name was nominated by Tan Zher Rem...
So there's Lim Chun Wei, me and Chin Ting Hua...
When the voting for me was going on...
I looked around...

In the classroom...
A pair of bloody eyes were hidden...
But not oblivious to me...
The owners of those eyes didn't raise his hand...
Oh well, it was no wonder that he didn't vote for me...
He takes me as his competitor although his name wasn't up for voting...

And again, let's time travel back to April 2009...
I was at Seberang Jaya warming up for the 2009 inter-school basketball competition (under 18)...
Let's see, that time maybe my society was choosing the next generation of AJK...
I wasn't there, I didn't care...
Surprisingly...
The only thing that people say to me when I'm back to school is:
"You've got elected as the AJK biasa"
And I was like:
"What????"

Ok, Ok,back to the ceremony...
So I heard I've got the highest vote, because the all the ex-committee voted for me...(Their vote is count as 5)
But bloody-eyes and Malus Domestica got only 9...
Sadly, they didn't get the AJK biasa post...(There were 3)
And they think it matters so much to them that whenever our committee is asking them to do something...
They would say:
"Why should I do it? I'm not an AJK Biasa"
And everytime they say that, I would think:
"Do you have to be an AJK Biasa do contribute to the society? Or you can't eat or drink without it? I would like you to be in my shoes just for 10 seconds, be it comfortable or painful, when you ever get the chance, is when you stop being envy"

I've been hearing those two idiots repeating that childish sentence so often that I almost pick up a parang and cut my ears off...(Just kidding, no way I'm doing that)
Most of the time, I just ignore them...(What happens if I never learn how to ignore?)

Back to today's scene....
Those sinister eyes and a face with R-A-G-E and W-R-A-T-H written on it...
Shocked me to the extent that I was numb for a second, or two...
How cute would it be if someone was angry with your success?
I think Satan got the better of him...
I'll do him a favour by praying for him...
No one, yes, no one, who didn't vote for me looked into my eyes as if they want to devour my flesh and lick my red-blood cells...(Not my cute and cuddly,well maybe not, red-blood cells!)
He did it, as a friend...

I'm just so sorry...
I'm sorry that you are controlled by something unreal....
Known as - the crave for power...
A taste of real power could make you get over it....
It's the best antidote...



Oh,the happy ending?
Lim Chun Wei who was famously loved by our classmates got elected as the monitor(For Christ's sake,who happens to be a KPL too) and Ting Huan(whom I've heard so much about last year but never knew who he is) got elected as the treasurer....

Wanna see our AJK list?

Monitor: Lim Chun Wei(Looks handsome from different angle,and has talents for being a monitor)
Ass. Monitor: Me(I love my seat just fine)
Secretary: Jackly Lam(Former Monitor who is very very helpful)
Ass. Secretary:Cheng Pei Ying(Former Monitor who has a sunny personality)
Treasurer: Chin Ting Huan(That guy)
Ass. Treasurer: Yeu Kai Zhe(His smile's precious because he doesn't smile often)
Cleanliness Monitor: Chin Pei Xin(The most responsible Cleanliness Monitor I've ever met, did half of my work)
Ass. Cleanliness Monitor: Ooi Chin Sheng(He's the scout with the dragon head)
Head of Notice Board: Tay Ying Pei(A good breakdancer,I'm serious!)
Ass. Head of Notice Board: Pheh Mei Foong(Who loves my hair as much as I love fish)
Furniture Master: Ng Chian Pin(That buff who joked with Puan Ng)
Ass. Furniture Master: Bloody-eyes(What should I say? OMG?)

Whoa...
12 posts...
Talk about an army...
It's even more than our cadets' AJK posts (Which is only 11)
And I thought Puan Ng didn't knew about posts...
She's good...
I didn't know that we need an assistant for secretary, two notice board decoraters, and furniture masters until today...
Good thing, I know what to do next year...

Yo! It's Been A Long Time!

Hey, I'm back in action....
It's a while since I've updated my life...
Here's a little something to catch up:

• We broke up, it was a lie! Goddamnit!! (I wish I could write out all the four-letter words,oh well, image matters).Well, it wasn't a breakup actually, that ***** says that we didn't even started. Oh well, it's good to know I've played a big part in that *****'s life. I've changed her...
• I quitted Jit Sin's basketball team, and how could coach Lugged tells me to stop playing basketball and play other sports instead?It was a coward's act to retreat when we are faced with challenges, I'm sorry coach, you're not here to read my blog
• I found my talent of being a 3-pointer since god-knows-when
• Someone tried to stab me by not letting me work for the Pearl,and I ended up better! Working personally for the Pearl's AJK, live in a suite with kitchen and a double bed in Paradise hotel(which is the same hotel the Australian basketball hotties live) and don't have to be on time.
• I rocked PMR, and now I regret it, I hate being in that class...With two #$%^$@# and a tall prefect who friendly fired me (on purpose goddamnit) when we played paintball (He has a heart which knows how to plot<I'm back!! I'm joining the cadets again. Chairperson asked if I wanted to be an AJK (99% is no way!), but then I attended this camp called "Camp Intensif"(Weird English and Malay combination), I realised why every generation of committee unwillingly accepted the job or being a cmt. TO ENSURE THE SWEET MEMORIES OF BEING A CADET PASSES ON TO THE NEXT GENERATION OF MEMBERS. AND I'M HONOURED TO PIKUL THIS TANGGUNGJAWAB!!
• I'm selabretin NEW YEAR'S EVE with my best buddies from the cadets! I miss them so much since that camp. It's a good thing we're back together again. It's two years until permanent separation!! FRIENDS FOREVER!
• I hate my new class, I'm afraid that I will lose my confidence when I don't top it! Man, should have passed up a blank paper...

First Time

Okay....
This is the first time I pat tor ( Has a boyfriend/girlfriend)
You know...
It was weird...
I was going to confess to you then you came to confess to me....
Finally, I can kick that b**** I once loved outta my life....
I finally get things straight...
I am worth more than that b**** and deserve to be loved like I love someone....
Then you came into my life...
Thanks....
You save me from a relationship no different than a flower that never blooms...

Umm...
Like I said, this IS the first time....
So I don't really know what to do or what should I do........
hold hands, hug, kiss??
Skip Skip Skip....
I don't feel like doing all those...
Especially we will never get to meet alone....
Totally chaperoned by the unknowing crowd and team mates....

I'm quite sorry....
I promised you I'd be the most romantic mate as soon as you're in my sight...
It turns out that I only talked to you twice in 5 hours....
Oblivious of you, excited with my basketball....
I don't want to let you feel desserted...
I don't want my coach down either....
So let just say I don't want to flirt with you in the public...
Because I don't want the other team mates to know of our relationship....
Trust me, it will totally ruin our team work....
Besides, I wanted a time-out whenever there's basketball practice....
I want myself to focus on the ball instead of you....


But, the major contributing factor is that I'm not yet ready to exchange our friendship with love...
Sometimes I feel shy and digusted at the thought of flirting with you....
Really....
Yeah, I DO like you(not yet love) but I am not rushing this relationship....
Because I am not rushing to get married....
Who knows, maybe we'll move on a bit slower or break up(which I don't really look into)...

I know you were at tuition when we had a training yesterday...
But I saw something interesting at the court: A loving couple...
They were actually flirting, but to us, they were having sex....
The girl was caressing the guy's thighs,buttocks and the guy's tying her hair...
The guy's hugging her waist and he almost kissed her (Why almost, not kissing? I don't like to see people kiss)
My friend and I almost took up a slingshot to shoot them....
It looks....shameful and disgusting....
They were so young but they acted as if they have sex every night...
You could see from there because they were so "deeply in love" , touching here touching there...(So much for the touch n go card)
Sometimes I pray for these kinda couples...
Because they either end up pregnant or break up....
It's never a happy ending...

It is impossible for us to get pregnant...
But I want you to know that I like you very much...
And gambateh in your exam...;)

Lovesick...

Hut-Chiuuuuu.......
Obviously, I'm being attacked by love virus....
I'm missing that temple so much that I can hardly feel that I'm happy alone...
I'm very confused over our relationship....
Sometimes it cares for me and sometimes it thinks replying me is a stupid thing....
This is a very special temple that only talks at night....
I wonder why....

I doubt the line between us....
It cares about me yets says it doesn't love me...
I'm so lost...lost....
I keep falling in and out of love with it...
It's like I love it now and I don't love it the next second....
When I know more about it and it turns out that I love it now...
My heart was broken and healed....
The process repeats in a short period of time...
Which will result in me malfunctioning....

I love it very much...
But I no more have the courage to be any nearer to it....
After experiencing a fatal damage to my heart...
It's like you push someone you love out of the road thus being went over by a vehicle....
And that person doesn't feel any more grateful and leaves you lying in the hospital ward....
Healing yourself and your heart...
You risked your life for that person....
In return, that person risked the goodness in him to hurt you....
I know it sounds funny but you might cry when you're the one being run over by a car for a no-good fellow....

Ahem, continue...
I don't dare to flirt, say "I love you" or bother to make it happy....
Six more days until it's birthday....
Last year, I sent a present to it...
But it doesn't seemed very happy....
So I decided not to give any more gifts to it....
It doesn't make any difference...
........

Wait, it does!!
Making me more oblivious to it....

I'm so inconsolable right now....
Stuck in the middle of love, friendship and hate........
GOD SAVE ME!!!

~Kek Lok Si~

Although I'm cool...
But I really care!!
You don't see me looking at your way...
I won't talk to you...
But that doesn't mean...
I don't love you...

Although I rarely mention about you...
I don't do much to please you...
I haven't sms you since God knows when...
But that doesn't mean...
I don't love you...

Although I don't look like someone who's in love...
I may not be good-looking enough for you...
I'm not as clever as you think...
But that doesn't mean...
I don't love you...

Every night I think of you...
You have the cutest smile...
You have the cutest face...
You have the cutest size...
Oh! How I yearn to embrace you in my arms again...

I've been missing you like mad...
And your face looks like mad...
The incompletion of gadgets gets you mad...
So how am I going to stop you getting mad?

I've angered Ex-Koperal...
Unintentionally...
You guys misunderstood what I said...
If it weren't for you...
I WOULDN'T EVEN THOUGHT OF SAYING SORRY!!!

I gave up the things I love...
Because I love you...
I accept the things I hate...
Because I love you...
I get nothing in the end...
Because I know...
In your heart...
In your diary...
In your memories...
There's never a Ivy....

I Love You

Everytime the moon awakes...
Your words tickle my heart again...
As I can never "unlove" you...
Because...Umm...I just can't...

Everytime I mentioned of you...
Whole-heartedly I mentioned...
But when it comes to your face...
I can't remember how you looked like...
That's why wherever I go...
I have a picture of you...

Whenever you talk to me...
I would strut and look away...
Because if I looked at you long enough...
I must go back home and hit my head against the wall...
At the same time sayin...
"Who the hell I gave my heart to? A Marsian?"

Haha...
That's why I never really remember your face...
Talk about your voice...
Thank god coz you seldom talk....
It's bad in the fact that I don't get to learn Marsian French...

One funny friend even said I look like you?
Really?
Does this mean I'm in love with myself?
Hahahhaha!!
Mirror mirror on the wall...
Do you know I'm the cutest of them all??
(Better say yes or I'm throwin you to the dump)

No matter how Marsian you look...
I'll always love you...
I love the cuteness in you (Providing the facts that you have antaennas on your head)
I love the way you talk to me ( It's so sweet that I'm gonna get diabetes)
I love your thin eyes ( Because you can't see me when I'm kissing with someone else)

I mourn you every noon...
Yeah, right there...
Just on your lawn...
Unfortunately for my sincerity...
Why do I have to be poured by your apple juice??

See?
How I love you with all my heart...
I miss you...
Everytime I think of you...
The dinosaurs appear (which I don't think they ever did since my birth)

Although I didn't talk to you for like months...
But please be reminded...
You still have my heart!!

Love Razor(Ain't I the sweetest?)

He/She Tend or You Noob?

Most Asians are narrow-minded....
That's why sometimes I look at them with such disdain....
People say funny characters and funny things are from the West....
Hey, that's someone your own size....

For example, Showoffism (Show off)....
I decided to write this article(purposely using English) to teach those noobies(losers) some lesson....
Of course, after reading Violet's (Aka Brattie Grannie's) blog....www.violetjovovich.blogspot.com
Now let me start the story:

You know, sometimes I get puked off when someone says I'm a show off just by saying three ENGLISH words that are expected to be seen in kindergarden books: Take the ball....
Hey, who doesn't know these words....
I mean, come on people!!
Don't you know the meaning of : Take the ball?
Hahahahahah!! Very funny....

Sometimes people spoil their self-value and dignity just by getting all amazed and jealous at simple things that people do...
I mean, do you say someone's a show off just because he knows how to go to toilet?
HEY!!! SAY IT~!!
Itsn't going to the toilet a great thing?
I mean a great great thing!!!
Come on, say with me : Sh-ow-of-f....

Sometimes people are just so funny....
They know what is the meaning of : Take the ball....
And yet they say someone's a show off....
Just like they know how to go to toilet....
But funnily, they don't say that someone's a show off.....
One word, cute~

I know people who are finding a hard time understanding the crown's English is discouraging people not to say it....
Hey, have you heard of the adage: " Don't say that the grape is sour when you're unable to taste it"....
I hate these kind of people....
But I don't blame God...
You know, who's gonna sell Char Koey Tiao when I blame them....

Learning to communicate in English doesn't mean you're a show off....
When you find someone saying words like : I lend your book

YOU DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND THE MEANING OF: I LEND YOUR BOOK

No matter how many people thinks I'm a show off just by speaking English at an appropriate time or whenever I like...
I would still speak it as if they are a bunch of imbecile ( malfunctioning as in robots) boy bimbos and bimbos...

Here, I would also like to thank Torty for standing up for me....
Another story:
Tittle: Defence Against Bimbo (Codename: DAB)

Time: Forgotten
Date: Don't even think about it
Venue: School, most of the action happen in school...
Characters: Me, Tort and a bimbo girl

Let's make it an abridgement:
Yeah, and again, I spoke English in school for like the 567th time...
Yet that forgotten slut bimbo opened her whore mouth and said:
"SHOW OFF!!"
Before I stuff a hundred bees into her mouth....
Tort's words shot her first:
She spoke in English not because she's a show off, it's because your English's too noob!!
Another glimpse, whoosh....
That bimbo's gone, like in seconds!!
Well, you know what they say, the pen's mightier than the sword (But not when it comes to the machine gun)
Thanks tort!!

Instead of the pretenders (cool name huh? )....
There's the snobs...

Another story:
Entitled: Snob Attack ( Codename: SA)

Time: Morning....
Date:?/?/2009
Venue: Planet Earth
Characters: Same old animals but not for the bimbo girl....

So I was speaking English again....
Not oblivious of the girl beside me....
I spoke broken English...
You know, people, especially Chinese get p*ss** off when another Chinese speak English....
And you know what she did?
She said something truly amazing:
"Broken English" ( As if I didn't know what I was doing)
Thanks again tort, this time, when I was about to make her remember me for the rest of her life...
And again, tort to the rescue!
Tort said it like in prefect English, perfectly no mistake ( She might as well do that when it comes to exam, just joking)
"If you're so good at English, why don't you speak it?"
That 2nd bimbo was like speechless and puuuffff....
Another bimbo "disapparated"...
Thanks tort!!
You're the best!




If you think you're not a snob or a pretender, just skip the dark crimson paragraph below:

Hey, if you disagree with my opinions....
Then just pack your bags and head for another planet that doesn't accept English as the international language rather than waste your time leaving meaningless comments here...


So, in short....
Next time I hear someone calling me or anyone a show off....
I will show off what I really can do to make them shut up their Englishphobic mouth...


~End~