The Reason

I'm really really helpless...
You've been dying to know...
I've been dying to hide....
And now what happens?

I don't want you to get hurt or anything....
Well, anyways I did hurt you...
At least it's not as severe as it's supposed to be....

I don't want to say sorry anymore...
You've been hearing that everyday...
The more I say it, the less value my sorries are....

Looking at my silent phone...
I feel so...weird....
My phone is always silent...
But now, way too silent....

Desperate, I click my phone every 5 minutes...
Searching for your name....
But now, disappointed...
I know I've done too much....

Maybe it's for the best...
Still, I can't live without reading your message...
I've been reading them everyday and now...
I stop? I'm an underwater fish who needs to learn how to live outta water in 24 hours...
It's just so...Hard and weird...

Interacting with you too much?
And the only reason I can come up with is "Habit"...
The habit of talking to you...
I don't really know when it started...
But I know it started last year...
We're two people from two different worlds...
Who talk to each other a little too much until...
We are artificially in the same world...
Overlapping each other...
Come to think of it, it's bizarre....
Way bizarre...

It's too bizarre until you wonder what the reason is...
I had no reason...
I'm wondering too...
Now I know what the reason was....
(Sing) And the reason is....you

It's an old song anyway...
That makes it an old reason...
Nevermind, time gave me reason...
A reason I'm sure none of us wants to know....(Trust me)
Unfortunately, I know...
And I'm SUFFERING...

Suffering...
The reason is not you anymore...
What was once ours is not pure...
NOT PURE!!!
THAT GODDAMNED FOUR-LETTER WORD TOOK IT ALL AWAY...
But...
....
....
....

What happens if I'm free from the grasp of FLW?
Will it be pure again?
Like it used to be?
I'm so scared...
So afraid...
That the evil FLW is the reason I'm holding on....
Without it, I'm out of your world....


If it isn't for my childish attitude, this wouldn't have happened...
Another 50 pumps for me until I wake up....


I...........You